My creation: Pretty Girl

She was the most beautiful girl in my school
And she sat right across from me in my second grade class, Ms. Werner
Her, smile could brighten up even your darkest shadow
And her heart was so warm it felt like cupids arrow
hit you
every time you saw her the room would narrow
cuz there was no way you could miss her
cuz she was the most beautiful girl in my school
and she sat right across from me in our second grade class

her cinnamon skin smelled of warm cocoa butter
her long eyelashes liked to bat and flutter
and innocence was the purest depiction of her
her big brown eyes demanded attention
and when she spoke, it was soft, but every word had its intentions
not to mention
she was the most beautiful girl in my school
and she sat right across from me in our second grade class

the callouses on her hands and the fear behind her eyes
didn't set red flags to the suffering she disguised
the lies,
the torture,
the blame
its over
and now she wonders why she doesn't feel this good sober
she's numb
there's nothing going on in that head
she turns it off every time papi climbs into her bed
and starts to run his fingers up and down her legs
and as he kisses her shoulder
right before he bends her over
she thinks about the piece of her that will die today

you see
the most beautiful girl in my school
the girl who sat across from me in our second grade class
had been a woman since she was 5
deprived of a childhood, freedom and pride
choked and torn up on the inside
but she still smiled

he was her first and only
he was violent and controlling
and she was so scared and lonely
her insides begging "somebody hold me"
only
no one ever did
she needed a father figure but no one ever tried to fit
maybe that's why everyone thought she was just shy as a kid
and she'd try to admit it but who would believe her
she tried the counselors but all they did was deceive her
I feel her

did I ever tell you she was the most beautiful girl, I mean, woman in my school
and she sat right across from me in our second grade class,
and she always smiled
always.

Critique: 
I wrote this poem as a kind of spur of the moment thing a couple of years ago. The story does not pertain to my actual life but I am sure that many others have gone through some sort of sexual harassment and molestation or know someone who has.

I have never actually critiqued my own work but here it goes:
I love this poem. It is one of the very few poems that I haven't touched since I wrote it. I don't remember what I went through when I wrote this poem but I really like the structure of this poem. I like the rhyming scheme that I used where I stuck to one word until I felt I exhausted it and then moved on to a new word for the next rhyming scheme.

I enjoy the circularity of the poem as well. The constant repetition of "she was the beautiful girl in my school and she sat right across from me in my second grade class" allows the reader to constantly envision this young girl full of innocence yet corrupted by her father.

If I were to go back into this poem I would probably add more lines in the area regarding her struggles of trying to admit it because I only mention counselors and I could mention more about how many girls and women are affected by such things and made it more inspirational for listeners who are going through similar tribulations.