My Creation: Way Too Fly For You

I am not a rapper but here it goes:

I'm the flyest
Don't smoke weed and I still get the highest
The finest
No where else you can find this
Keep tryin'
and aint nobody else getting behind this
trust me don't try this
this star shines the brightest

[HOOK]
Oh baby you will never get me
Cuz I'm way to fly for you
with status way too high for you
and baby I will always be me
way too fly for you
with status way too high for you

Oh baby you must got me twisted
Thinking all this shit I've lifted
Was handed down or given
How glamorous I'm living
but you fail to understand
this was sculpted by my hands
thats why I'm so quick to brag
and even harder to bag

[HOOK]

So all my ladies with me
put your hands up if your with me
don't you settle down too quickly
or ever let a man make you feel pretty
you can do it all on your own
be independent girl your grown
be star of your show
and when he comes around let him know

[HOOK]

My creation: Pretty Girl

She was the most beautiful girl in my school
And she sat right across from me in my second grade class, Ms. Werner
Her, smile could brighten up even your darkest shadow
And her heart was so warm it felt like cupids arrow
hit you
every time you saw her the room would narrow
cuz there was no way you could miss her
cuz she was the most beautiful girl in my school
and she sat right across from me in our second grade class

her cinnamon skin smelled of warm cocoa butter
her long eyelashes liked to bat and flutter
and innocence was the purest depiction of her
her big brown eyes demanded attention
and when she spoke, it was soft, but every word had its intentions
not to mention
she was the most beautiful girl in my school
and she sat right across from me in our second grade class

the callouses on her hands and the fear behind her eyes
didn't set red flags to the suffering she disguised
the lies,
the torture,
the blame
its over
and now she wonders why she doesn't feel this good sober
she's numb
there's nothing going on in that head
she turns it off every time papi climbs into her bed
and starts to run his fingers up and down her legs
and as he kisses her shoulder
right before he bends her over
she thinks about the piece of her that will die today

you see
the most beautiful girl in my school
the girl who sat across from me in our second grade class
had been a woman since she was 5
deprived of a childhood, freedom and pride
choked and torn up on the inside
but she still smiled

he was her first and only
he was violent and controlling
and she was so scared and lonely
her insides begging "somebody hold me"
only
no one ever did
she needed a father figure but no one ever tried to fit
maybe that's why everyone thought she was just shy as a kid
and she'd try to admit it but who would believe her
she tried the counselors but all they did was deceive her
I feel her

did I ever tell you she was the most beautiful girl, I mean, woman in my school
and she sat right across from me in our second grade class,
and she always smiled
always.

Critique: 
I wrote this poem as a kind of spur of the moment thing a couple of years ago. The story does not pertain to my actual life but I am sure that many others have gone through some sort of sexual harassment and molestation or know someone who has.

I have never actually critiqued my own work but here it goes:
I love this poem. It is one of the very few poems that I haven't touched since I wrote it. I don't remember what I went through when I wrote this poem but I really like the structure of this poem. I like the rhyming scheme that I used where I stuck to one word until I felt I exhausted it and then moved on to a new word for the next rhyming scheme.

I enjoy the circularity of the poem as well. The constant repetition of "she was the beautiful girl in my school and she sat right across from me in my second grade class" allows the reader to constantly envision this young girl full of innocence yet corrupted by her father.

If I were to go back into this poem I would probably add more lines in the area regarding her struggles of trying to admit it because I only mention counselors and I could mention more about how many girls and women are affected by such things and made it more inspirational for listeners who are going through similar tribulations.

Hip Hop Reader Chapter 5

Chapter 5 'Represent': Race, Space, and Place in Rap Music by Murray Forman

I definitely found this article relatable. Though I am from a small, predominantly Jewish neighborhood in Queens, I grew up a lot of the time at a dance crew I was part of in Harlem. Growing up with my group of friends, I learned the meaning and the importance of territory and, basically as Forman said in a very academic and collegic way, everyone's "hood". 

It is repped throughout the music industry constantly, rappers, singers and all types of artists incorporate aspects of their "hoods" into their songs, album covers and live performances. Nicki Minaj has mentioned several times that she is from Queens, the song "Where Brooklyn At?" clearly reps that borough, "Jenny from the Block" by Jennifer Lopez notes countless times that she is repping the Bronx. 

I think it is important to have a place where one can always come back to. Having your own territory is always something powerful, it is the place that you know you will always have support and back. Many artists pay homage to the people of their territories because they know that those are the people who are keeping their career alive and thriving.

Hip Hop Reader Chapter 4

Chapter 4 pg 182 Should Ice Cube's Voice be Chilled?

This article touched a lot upon the degradation of others through the words in rap songs and how they can prevent society from prospering. The article talks about how Ice Cube spoke out recklessly regarding people he did not like and things in society he did not agree with.

The article critiques Cube's album entitled "Death Certificate" and how it is split into the two sides. The death side was about sex and guns and violence and the life side was all about politics. He writes lyrics that are deemed raw and uncensored were criticized publicly by activist groups, newspapers, radio stations and other MC's as well.

I think it is okay for Ice Cube to have written such raunchy lyrics that have the potential to stir controversy. That was what music was created for, to tell stories and send messages, like griots. On the contrary I believe it is wrong to criticize his lyrics because the White man did that all throughout history and suddenly you give a black man the power to do the same and it becomes an issue.

Criticism of Lupe Fiasco's "Words I never Said" Part II

This song is extremely political. Lupe refers to Obama and the governments reforms a few times throughout the song. He talks about the Gaza strip which is a known controversy in politics. He talks about budget cuts and education. He spits truth in his lyrics and especially about what he's feeling.

The video is also extremely thought provoking. All the people in the video have something that looks almost like a muzzle restraining them from their right to speak their mind. The atmosphere is gray and dark and lacks any form of hope. A woman is being dragged out by force and Lupe Fiasco later faces the same fate.

Lupe follows a usual rhyme scheme for some rappers. It seems as though he latches on to one word and rhymes with it for a few lines and moves on to a new word. It follows A, A, A, A, B, B, B... however he writes more than four lines that rhyme together.

Criticism of Lupe Fiasco's "Words I never Said"x

"Words I Never Said"
(feat. Skylar Grey)

[Skylar Grey]
It’s so loud Inside my head
With words that I should have said!
As I drown in my regrets
I can’t take back the words I never said
I can’t take back the words I never said

[Lupe Fiasco]
I really think the war on terror is a bunch of bullshit
Just a poor excuse for you to use up all your bullets
How much money does it take to really make a full clip
9/11 building 7 did they really pull it
Uhh, And a bunch of other cover ups
Your childs future was the first to go with budget cuts
If you think that hurts then, wait here comes the uppercut
The school was garbage in the first place, that's on the up and up
Keep you at the bottom but tease you with the uppercrust
You get it then they move it so you never keeping up enough
If you turn on TV all you see’s a bunch of “what the fucks”
Dude is dating so and so blabbering bout such and such
And that ain't Jersey Shore, homie that's the news
And these the same people that supposed to be telling us the truth
Limbaugh is a racist, Glenn Beck is a racist
Gaza strip was getting bombed, Obama didn’t say shit
That's why I ain't vote for him, next one either
I’ma part of the problem, my problem is I’m peaceful
And I believe in the people.

[Skylar Grey]
It’s so loud inside my head
With words that I should have said!
As I drown in my regrets
I can’t take back the words I never said
I can’t take back the words I never said

[Lupe Fiasco - Verse 2]
Now you can say it ain't our fault if we never heard it
But if we know better than we probably deserve it
Jihad is not a holy war, wheres that in the worship?
Murdering is not Islam!
And you are not observant
And you are not a muslim
Israel don’t take my side cause look how far you’ve pushed them
Walk with me into the ghetto, this where all the Kush went
Complain about the liquor store but what you drinking liquor for?
Complain about the gloom but when’d you pick a broom up?
Just listening to Pac ain't gone make it stop
A rebel in your thoughts, ain't gon make it halt
If you don’t become an actor you’ll never be a factor
Pills with million side effects
Take em when the pains felt
Wash them down with Diet soda!
Killin off your brain cells
Crooked banks around the World
Would gladly give a loan today
So if you ever miss a payment
They can take your home away!

[Skylar Grey]
It’s so loud inside my head
With words that I should have said!
As I drown in my regrets
I can’t take back the words I never said, never said
I can’t take back the words I never said

[Lupe Fiasco - Verse 3]
I think that all the silence is worse than all the violence
Fear is such a weak emotion that's why I despise it
We scared of almost everything, afraid to even tell the truth
So scared of what you think of me, I’m scared of even telling you
Sometimes I’m like the only person I feel safe to tell it to
I’m locked inside a cell in me, I know that there’s a jail in you
Consider this your bailing out, so take a breath, inhale a few
My screams is finally getting free, my thoughts is finally yelling through

[Skylar Grey]
It’s so loud Inside my head
With words that I should have said!
As I drown in my regrets
I can’t take back the words I never said

Book of Rhymes #5 "Truth Is" by Black Ice

So in essence, they still floodin the streets with the thugs, drugs and the killing
They just usin these record labels to do it
Takin our hearts off demos, puttin us in limos
tryin to fuck up divine direction
But, young black men have been trained to chase money
and pussy, so we fall victim to our own erection
And begin to convince ourselves we're on our way somewhere where we're not goin
But ignorance is bliss and niggaz love this so, niggaz take pride in not knowin
We not growin, nigga I give a fuck how slick you flowin
if you ain't showin nuttin to these kids or addin nuttin positive to the earth
Black Ice been destined to touch the world ever since I was born
To be real, fuck a record deal, God gives me what I'm worth


I love this poem and Black Ice is one of my favorite poets. He speaks out in this poem about how black people have been oppressed even through the music industry and how they are driven to "fucked up shit" because of what America tells you you can be.


Ice uses an A,B,C,B,D,B flow. Constantly going back to that one rhyming word in the beginning, direction-erection. Then he quickly changes over into an A,A,A,B,C,D,C flow. The quick changes in his flow is what separates him from other rappers, he is a spoken word artist and he proves that with the way his words are not enslaved by a beat or a certain rhyme scheme.


He is very straight forward with his words and knows exactly what sort of audience he targets. He brings his depictions to eye level and enlightens his listeners to the harsh realities of the black experience through a fast paced, loud pitched voice and flow.

Hip Hop Reader Chapter 3

Chapter 3 p 107 Your Momma’s a Mack Daddy: Gender Construction in Hip Hop

I think that as sad as this article is, there isn’t much of a home for females in the hip hop industry. Women have not paved much of a path for themselves and “kept their seats warm” between artists. Back in the day there were a few who held the throne for a while. Artists like Foxy Brown, Missy Eliot, Lil Kim, Eve, Trina and etc. really did pave a road for females in the rap industry in general however the road hasn’t been kept up and now looks a little faded when a female who tries to make it in the rap industry gets to that road. She now has to continue in her path, cleaning up the “look” and “feel” of that road as she goes along, and some roots refuse to be pulled and some dirt sticks hard to the road. Women need to get together and start a movement where respect is dealt to a woman trying to make it in the industry. The whole issue of “video whores” and “sleeping your way to the top” needs to be looked down upon by strong, influential women so that weaker women follow. Women need to be lead by example, by the powerful, and any radio station you turn to, tv channel or magazine you see is women flaunting their bodies. If that changes, then women will think differently and prioritize their beliefs differently.

Hip Hop Reader Chapter 2

Chapter 2 p 93 Rap’s Embrace of ‘Nigger” Fires Bitter Debate by Michel Marriott

I really enjoyed this article, especially the mention of Paul Mooney because earlier today in my Introduction to Black Studies course we mentioned him and watched a few of his videos. I think he puts a comical twist to the word “nigger” and its refreshing and interesting.

The article in its entirety was interesting as well. There were many different viewpoints about the use of the word that I had never considered before. I use the word as frequently as I want to because no one can tell me what to say when to say it. I believe that if black people can use the word, then so can I. I never once thought about the older people who were around and marched for the rights they own now. I only thought, ‘hey, no one will tell me what to say because I am white’.

I don’t think that saying “nigger” over and over will strip it of its racial connotation, like many of the rappers and other people who supported that movement. I do believe that the continuous use of the word will desensitize it and allow for les fights over who said the word and why, and less stress and focus on the “racist” aspect.

Hip Hop Reader Chapter 1

Chapter 1:

The Ghostface Killah article was pretty interesting. I enjoyed reading about the different styles that Wu Tang Clan started off with and how Ghostface was able to incorporate his own style with his group’s style in his own solo albums. Although there were 10 members of the Wu Tang Clan and they came out with countless albums and even a manual that explained their own methods behind their unique sound. Instead of repetitive hooks and electro beats, Wu Tang and Ghostface included many new and different aspects into their music and beats. Ghostface sampled old songs, used noises recorded from machines and even yelled to provide a completely different experience for the listener.

I thought it was interesting when the author said that Ghostface’s 5^th album was a surprise because he was 35. I never thought that rap had an age cap and that artists would somehow “expire” at a certain point. I appreciated the breakdown of his lyrics and that even though most of the Wu Tang Clan members went on to do movies and other projects, Ghostface stayed true to his colors and wrote on and created more works of art.

Book of Rhymes #6 Mosh, Eminem

Let me be the voice in your strength and your choice
Let me simplify the rhyme just to amplify the noise
Try to amplify the times it, and multiply by six...
Teen million people, Are equal at this high pitch
Maybe we can reach alqueda through my speech
Let the president answer a higher anarchy
Strap him with an Ak-47, let him go, fight his own war
Let him impress daddy that way
No more blood for oil, we got our own battles to fight on our own soil


I love this song by Eminem who happens to be one of my favorite artists. This song screams empowerment, autonomy and liberation. Eminem wrote this song as a form of protest right before the election in 2004 and shortly after the war started. This stanza of the poem is the one i deem most powerful. Eminem is embodying the voice of the nation speaking up for the soldiers on the front line.


Eminem uses a repetitive rhyming scheme. An A,A,A,B,B,B pattern. His flow is also repetitive with his strong emphasis on the final words. He doesn't bother using many metaphors and similes but instead just gets straight to the point. He uses a clever device that breaks up words and sentences that also stress the importance of 16,000,000 people, just for example.

Book of Rhymes #4 Sexual Healing, Marvin Gaye

And honey I know you'll be there to relieve me
The love you give to me will free me
If you don't know the thing you're dealing
Ohh I can tell you, darling, that it's sexual healing

Get up, get up, get up, get up
Let's make love tonight
Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up
'Cos you do it right


I love this song by Marvin Gaye. He tells about how beautiful love can help heal many tribulations that may fall upon someone. Companionship is sometimes the only thing you may need. Although many songs nowadays preach the same thing the descriptions that Gaye uses really help the listener depict and establish an emotional connection to the song, their loved ones, and their future relationships.


The repetition helps the listener replay the visual over and over again of "getting up" and "waking up". This song was rated one of the top in the early 1980's and there is a perfectly good explanation why many still fall in love with it still today because the devices used and the lyrics speak out to any listener of any background.
He uses a unique rhyme scheme that begins at A,A,A, and continues on to an A,B,A,B scheme. He uses slant rhymes and sometimes rhymes words within the same sentence.

Book of Rhymes #3 And Still I Rise by Maya Angelou

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.



Maya Angelou is writing a poem to her "haters". She is describing her experience as a strong black woman. No matter what is thrown her way she will continue to be strong and overcome. The first stanza is describing what most hope she will experience, discouragement, loss of self esteem, and emptiness. She lifts the tone of the poem in the next stanza by stating that she has no care in the world as depicted by the rich. 


Angelou uses an A,B,C,B rhyme scheme. It is pleasant sounding and gives the poem a lighter, more playful tone. Her similes are exquisite. "Shoulder falling like teardrops" perfectly depicts to the reader how low the haters want her spirit to be. 


When listening to the recording of Maya Angelou reading her own poetry her tone is soft and light. Though she naturally speaks that way, it was more daunting, almost like a laugh in the face of the haters.

Book of Rhymes #2 Do You Believe in Magic by The Lovin' Spoonful

Do you believe in magic in a young girl's heart
How the music can free her, whenever it starts
And it's magic, if the music is groovy
It makes you feel happy like an old-time movie
I'll tell you about the magic, and it'll free your soul
But it's like trying to tell a stranger 'bout rock and roll...


The lyrics of this song suggest that music can free the souls of people who really listen to it. I love this song because although it has a cheerful back beat the lyrics speak out to every music lover all around the world. It is easy to relate to and must have been a party pleaser back in the day,


The A,A, B,B, C,C, D,D rhyme scheme is a common pattern that I tended to notice in many old school songs. If music were going mainstream back in the day it probably would've fit the same criteria. Its short and to the point. I love what the lyrics are suggesting though. Through listening to the above stanza I am visualizing a young girl in a dress jumping up and down to the beat of the music, completely free and liberated from every care in the world.


The flow of the song is very repetitive which is good for memory and impact however not original at all. The instruments used to play the back beats were and are extremely common in music and the lyrics fall slave to the beat, they do not over power. If you mute the music and allow just the lyrics the impact isn't nearly as great.

Imitation #1: Pablo Neruda, If you forget me

This poem, like all other Neruda poems is beautiful. Pablo Neruda captures such descriptions that truly allow a vivid painting to be pictured in the readers head. In this poem he is telling the woman he loves that as long as she loves him he will love her back however if:
 "you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land."

Neruda speaks to an audience with an imagination. He conveys a message that can be said simply in many different ways and uses many different devices. He uses much repetition to make sure the picture and the pain or the happiness is ingrained in the brain of the reader. How can you forget something when it is repeated over and over and it's beautiful at the same time. 

The poem almost places you directly in the scene. You begin to either reference past experiences you have had or imagine having lived through those experiences. It is great when a poet can capture not only visual effects of a situation but to have the reader emotionally imitate the feelings the poet felt when they wrote it is a concept that takes years for a poet to master, Neruda makes it look easy.

This poem is wonderful and lyrically genius. Enjoy =)